


As You Wish

by giftofamber



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Princess Bride AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-27 23:32:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/984950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giftofamber/pseuds/giftofamber
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>David is taking care of a "sick" Henry and reads him a new fairytale from the storybook about the Princess Regina (Buttercup) and her stable girl Emma (Wesley). Will she be forced to marry Leopold (Humperdink) or will her stable girl save the day? Starring Rumplestiltskin as the Miracle Worker. #SwanQueen Princess Bride AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The sun was shining outside his window, and all Henry wanted to do was to sneak outside and find Emma. He'd already fooled his mother into letting him stay home from school with a hot water bottle, knowing full well she had important town meetings she couldn't cancel to stay home with him. He was already counting the minutes down to her departure when she dropped in on him one last time.

"Henry, your grandfather is here. He's agreed to watch you, so don't cause any problems for him, alright?" Regina knelt down to look in her son's eyes. She hated the thought of leaving Henry in anyone else's care, but it couldn't be helped, and Kathryn, who was her usual babysitter, had a prior engagement. She'd called over to Mary Margaret's apartment to talk to Emma and had gotten David instead, and well, she was desperate for a sitter.

Henry was sure that his mother had lost her mind. He looked up at his mother wide-eyed, "Rumplestiltskin?"

"Don't be silly. Your other grandfather," Regina scoffed. No matter how desperate she was, Rumplestiltskin would never come anywhere near her son without her present. David was at least mostly harmless-when his pea brain was functioning anyway.

Henry resisted the urge to hug his mother, but his eyes gave away his excitement just the same. He loved spending time with David, otherwise known as Prince Charming, almost as much as he loved spending time with Emma. He knew that his mother didn't really approve of his biological family, so he tried desperately to stay calm for her sake, "David's here?"

"Yes, and you'll be happy to know we're all out of apples," Regina put her hand on his arm, smiling a little to let him know that she was mostly joking. She moved closer as though she was going to kiss his forehead and then backed away instead. She decided not to test their already fragile relationship when Henry had a fever. "Remember, no problems. Don't strain yourself."

"Yes, mom. Thank you," Henry said, remembering his manners. He watched her leave with a wistful look on her face and less than a minute later, David walked in, holding his storybook. Henry knew every single story in the book by heart because he'd spent so long trying to discover everyone's fairytale identifies and convince Emma to break the curse over Storybrooke. She'd since broken the curse, although she wouldn't tell him how, and he'd been in a coma at the time so all he had were educated guesses as to what happened. Not that it really mattered to him, because even though the curse was broken, he still wasn't allowed to live with Emma and his mom was still the mayor and everything was pretty much the same except that Mary Margaret and David had moved in together and Ashley had finally given birth.

Scanning the room quickly, David found a chair by Henry's desk that was kid-sized, but would probably hold an adult's weight. He pulled it over so he could sit next to Henry's bed, "Hey, kid. Thought I'd come by so we could spend some quality time together."

Momentarily forgetting that he was supposed to be sick, Henry asked, "Are you going to teach me to ride horses?"

"Not today, kid. I thought we could read one of these stories together since you are so fond of them. Would you like to pick one?" David proposed as he handed the book to Henry.

Henry leafed through the book and found what appeared to be an entirely new story. He stared at the picture, which had a teenage girl who looked a lot like his mother only with long hair standing next to a horse. Was it possible new fairytales were being created now that the curse was broken? He exclaimed excitedly to David, "Look! This one wasn't here before."

"Well, I'll be…I guess that means we should read it first," David thought out loud. Fate had a funny way of making itself known, and he wasn't about to mess with it. He held up the page so that both of them could see as he began to read, "The Princess Bride. Once upon a time, there was a princess named Regina, and her favorite pastime was ordering the stable girl to do things for her, but she never called the stable girl by her first name…."

* * *

"Stable girl, saddle my horse," the princess ordered. The princess was dressed in the finest riding clothes money could buy, and her long dark hair was in a single braid down her back, tied with a beautiful blue ribbon that matched the pale blue of her riding coat.

"As you wish," said the young stable girl, the corners of her mouth turning into a smirk. Her golden curls were as wild and untamed as Regina's favorite mare. Her tank top and trousers were well-worn, but accentuated her muscular figure perfectly, at least as far as the princess was concerned. The stable girl leaned over as she put the saddle atop the horse, actively putting on a show for her audience.

"Stable girl, help me up," the princess commanded, pretending to be completely unaffected by the girl in front of her. When the stable girl uttered the same three words she always spoke-'as you wish'-the princess looked into emerald eyes and found herself momentarily lost. In that moment, as the stable girl knelt before her and held out her hands in a compliant manner, the princess Regina knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that those simple words were the stable girl's way of saying 'I love you,' and she knew in her heart that she felt the same.

* * *

Confusion enveloped Henry's features as he searched the page in front of him for answers. It was one thing to see his mother looking like a princess in his own book of fairytales. It was a whole different story to envisage his other mother in that same tale in the role of his mom's love interest. He wasn't sure how he felt. On the one hand, this was his book of fairytales; the book that had gotten him through some very confusing times and helped his mom to break the curse, so the story couldn't be all bad. On the other hand, the Evil Queen and the Savior? As a couple? That didn't make any sense. Also, where was the adventure? Was this story only about romance?

David glanced at him, sensing that Henry needed a break from the story. Quite honestly, he needed a little break as well. He stated the obvious, "Um, this seems to be a romance."

"Maybe the adventure is coming up?" Henry wondered. "Every fairytale has adventure and fighting the bad guys. But, if my mom is one of the good guys, who are the bad guys in this story?"

"I guess we're going to have to read to find out," David replied, not entirely satisfied with the answer himself. He continued on with the story however, seeing as how it had been his idea in the first place to read the book to keep Henry company.

* * *

Even as the stable girl melted into the princess' embrace, she knew that their happiness could not last, at least not yet. She had no money to provide for the princess, nor did she have the station to allow her love to hold her head high. As an orphan, there wasn't much she could do about her station, but there was a way, albeit a risky way, to make enough money that the princess would want for nothing for the rest of their days. She would sail aboard a ship to the new country, to make her fortune. She was young, strong, and hearty and could withstand the long voyage. What broke her heart was knowing that she had to make the trip alone, and the thought of being separated from her princess was almost too much to bear.

"I'll come with you," the princess pleaded. A terrible foreboding filled her heart with dread. "I'll bind my chest and cut my hair. I couldn't bear it if something happened to you."

"Nothing will happen to me - I swear it," promised the stable girl. She stared into beautiful brown eyes and just knew she could conquer the world.

"What if my mother tries to marry me off?" the princess begged, her eyes downcast. She shuddered to think of being betrothed to anyone but her love.

"Look at me, your highness. Regina, what we have is True Love. Even your mother won't go against True Love," the stable girl insisted. She reached around the back of her own neck and unhitched the clasp on her locket. Placing the locket gently in the princess' hand, she continued, "This is all I have left of my parents. Keep it as my pledge to you – I will always save you."

Clutching the locket, the princess felt tears start to fall. She forced her tears to stop and put the locket around her own neck. She put her chin up, "I can save myself. Just…come back to me."

"As you wish."


	2. Chapter 2

Sadly, the princess' premonition came to pass, or so she was led to believe. She received word that her love's ship had been captured by pirates, leaving no survivors. The princess was devastated. She locked herself in her chambers for weeks, leaving only for meals and to take care of her beloved horse, Rocinante. In spite of what she had heard, she still had a small kernel of hope in her heart when she looked into Rocinante's eyes that one day her stable girl would come gallivanting across the field in finery above her station, but as time went on, that small kernel of hope continuously diminished until she swore that she would never love again. When five years later, as she had also predicted, her mother betrothed her in marriage to Prince Leopold, the princess had lost all faith that her stable girl, her Emma, had miraculously survived and would make good on her pledge to save her. She had resigned herself to her fate.

* * *

"No! That can't be true! Emma's still alive, and I've never known my mom to go down without a fight," Henry declared. "Maybe Emma was right, and this book really is fake."

"Hold on now, young man, have you forgotten so quickly that it correctly predicted Emma breaking the curse? Or that this book is how you found your grandparents? I can't explain this story...the idea of my daughter being the True Love of the Evil Queen is positively ludicrous...but that doesn't mean the entire book is fake," David argued.

"Mom told me her mother killed her first love, who was a stable boy, not a stable girl. She would've told me if she liked girls, right?" Henry asked, suddenly not as sure as he had first felt. His mom did talk about Emma a lot, and she did look at her when she thought he wasn't paying attention, but that was just because Emma was his birth mother...or was it?

David was uncertain, "Well, Henry, that type of thing wasn't really talked about back in the Enchanted Forest, especially by the nobility. I mean, this is a new fairytale in the book, so maybe your mom's story is being rewritten since we've been living in Maine for 29 years, where everyone is more open-minded."

Instead of responding, Henry elected to continue reading the tale, "Prince Leopold introduced his betrothed to his subjects….

* * *

"Behold, the Princess Regina."

The princess descended the stairs and began to walk amongst the commoners, who immediately went to kneel before her. She blinked back tears, moved by their devotion, praying it would fill the emptiness in her heart. Though her mother and Prince Leopold assured her that she would grow to love him once they married, she knew that she was not capable of giving her heart to another. By the time her mother came to get her to return to their keep, she was relieved to be out of the spotlight.

Soon after, she rode Rocinante into the forest. Feeling nostalgic, she sported the same outfit that she had the day her love had left, save for one small exception-she had donned one of Emma's tank tops under her riding coat, one of the few items Emma had left behind when she began her journey. Regina wasn't really paying attention to how long she was riding and rode deeper into the forest than usual. She no longer recognized the landmarks and so was not unhappy that she heard voices calling to her from below. She gently tugged on the reins and gave Rocinante the signal to stop so she could identify those voices.

At first glance, they appeared to be travelers and not ones she recognized. One appeared to be a small giant-almost a contradiction in terms; his clothes coming apart at the seams. The second appeared to be a female Spaniard of low birth and quite physically fit like her Emma. The third looked to be the leader of the party based on stature and attire. The raven-haired woman wore rich colorful fabric that had yet to fade in a style that Regina did not recognize from her land. If Regina had not been so distracted, she would have seen the sword at the woman's side.

Snow recognized the princess immediately as the one chosen by the man who had made her grow up a bastard and cast a shadow on her mother's reputation. She had watched the engagement ceremony from afar, waiting for this very moment to take her revenge on Prince Leopold. She spoke glibly, "A word, my lady? We are but strangers here. Would you know if there was a village nearby?"

Answering honestly, Regina offered, "Not for miles."

"Then no one will hear you scream," Snow smiled as her comrades advanced on the princess, knocking her from her horse. With barely the hint of a scream, the princess lost consciousness from her fall. Snow gestured to Tiny to carry their prize back to their boat, but not before sending the princess's horse draped with a banner of a neighboring kingdom's crest back to the stables to distract the prince long enough for them to get away with the princess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now we have Snow as the Sicilian, Tiny as Fezzik, and can you guess which female will be Inigo Montoya? :)


	3. Chapter 3

The three headed to the moors with their prize where a sailboat waited, anchored to the docks.

Getting on the boat, Tiny laid Regina gently in a corner before asking Snow, "Snow, why did you put that banner on her horse?"

Snow groaned, "I hired you to start a war, not to think. This way, when the princess shows up dead off the coast, Prince Leopold will blame the land of Oz and not us."

"You never said anything about killing her. I just don't think it's right. She's an innocent," Tiny argued, his stomach sinking as he looked upon the young beauty he was unknowingly leading to her demise.

"War has many casualties; many of whom are innocent. If you need to ease your conscience, just remember that I engineered this entire operation, and you will be paid well for your trouble," Snow responded bitterly. Just who did this giant think he was anyway to argue with her?

"I agree with Tiny," Jack piped up. She didn't care much what happened to the unconscious girl, but she didn't like seeing her friend belittled either.

"This is what I get for hiring a drunk who can't hold her liquor and a habitually unemployed giant with a conscience. Do you want me to send you back home, penniless?" Snow got in both of their faces. Her fierce eyes and regal demeanor were frightening enough, let alone the smoke coming out of her ears.

Jack and Tiny looked down, muttering apologies, and set about getting the boat ready to sail as the sun was getting close to setting. They bound the princess's wrists because it was a matter of time before she awoke, and they feared repercussions from Snow if the princess escaped. Night fell, and everything appeared to be going as planned for the group of miscreants.

Something in Jack's gut said they had gotten away too easily, and she kept glancing back toward shore. It was dark, but she thought she saw something out of the corner of her eye. Jack inquired, "Are you sure no one is following us?"

"No one could have followed us. It's inconceivable," Snow scoffed. She noted a change in the princess's breathing and decided to burst her bubble, "We know you're awake, princess, so you may as well stop pretending."

Regina reluctantly opened her eyes, "Where am I?"

"Sailing to the Cliffs of Insanity," Tiny answered helpfully. Nothing in his contract said he couldn't answer a few of the princess's questions, and well, even though it was a paying job, he still felt bad about what they were doing to her.

Regina nearly laughed at the irony. She had lost her sanity the day she lost her hope; she was marrying a prince for crying out loud instead of her true love. Maybe if she intentionally angered these people, they would put her out of her misery. She said aloud, "You do realize that Prince Leopold will find you and have you hanged for this."

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about us," Snow condescended. "He's not even going to bother to come looking for you when he can bed any trollop his heart desires."

"Look there. It's a boat with a black sail. I'm sure of it," Jack pointed behind them, her other hand ready to draw her sword at a moment's notice.

"Are you sure you haven't had anything to drink tonight?" Snow asked, but went over to look anyway. To her surprise, Jack was right about there being a boat, however, the boat was too small to belong to the prince. She said as much, "Probably a fisherman. It can't be for us."

Being the only one with eyes not on the looming boat, Tiny pointed out, "Um, guys? The princess is getting away."

At that moment, Snow and Jack heard a splash. It seemed the young princess had dived into the water while they were preoccupied with arguing. The troublemaker was now treading water while working to remove the bonds on her wrists. Clearly, she hadn't thought through her escape plan, which gave them precious time to catch her. Snow ordered, "Go after her! What are you waiting for?"

Jack had spent much of her life learning how to use a sword and drink huge amounts of ale without falling over. She'd had no need to learn to swim-until now. She responded honestly, "I don't swim."

Tiny also shook his head, "Princess, come back. There's mermaids in the sea."

"Yes. If you come back now, there will be no repercussions, and you won't get such a nice deal from the mermaids. They'll eat a young girl like you for breakfast," Snow boasted more confidence than she had currently, but she wasn't about to show her fear to hired hands and a girl who had apparently never left home before by the way the color drained from her skin at the mention of mermaids.

At that moment, Regina saw a mermaid surfacing near her. She'd heard tales of these vicious creatures, but had never seen one up close. She froze in horror as its tail came up and slapped her across the face. It swam away briefly before returning and colliding with her legs. The waves and the current were pushing her closer to the sailboat she had just escaped.

Reaching the mysterious boat with the black sail was quickly becoming a fantasy. On the mermaid's third pass, she was now within reach of the sailboat & Tiny grabbed her in his arms and whisked her out of its grasp. She clutched onto him out of pure instinct, knowing intellectually that she was simply trading one death for another, and really, what did she have to live for? The only person who cared if she lived or died was her father, and even he was allowing her mother to trade her like a piece of meat for a small fortune. Everyone wanted to use her-her mother, the prince, even these criminals. She made the decision right then and there that she wouldn't let anyone exploit her again. She would control her own destiny.

Snow smirked victoriously at the princess, "I trust there will be no further incidents."

Regina nodded absently as she allowed her hands to be bound once more. She would try again once they reached shore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character counterparts for this chapter:
> 
> Jack (from Jack and the Beanstalk): Inigo Montoya  
> Tiny the Giant: Fezzik the Giant  
> Snow: Vizzini the Sicilian  
> Regina: Buttercup  
> Leopold: Prince Humperdink


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, the group of bandits and their prisoner had reached shore. Jack tied a harness on Tiny and threw a rope to the top of the cliffs. She motioned to Snow, and the two lifted Regina onto Tiny's back before catching hold themselves. Within seconds, Tiny was climbing, carrying the group up the Cliffs of Insanity.

Regina was out of her mind with fear at the seemingly infinite climb, but she vowed that her captors would not see her squirm. She desperately tried not to look down, and of course, when a person tries not to look somewhere, he or she has to at least glance in that direction, so Regina did look down, the view making her even queasier than before. Yet, in the corner of her eye, she saw a person in all black with a mask over his eyes and a bandana covering his hair climbing up behind them. Gathering her courage, she boasted, "Look, the Prince has already sent someone to save me. You may as well hand me over before your lives are totally forfeit."

"Princess, what are you talking about?" Snow looked mildly annoyed. They'd been over this. "There will be no rescue. The Prince will go to war with Oz. It's been fated. What is that man doing climbing behind us? Tiny, go faster!"

"I'm climbing as fast as I can," Tiny complained. "You try climbing with 3 people on your back and see how fast you can go."

"I need a new giant," Snow muttered.

"Don't say that, Snow. That hurts," Tiny pouted at her. Before Snow could respond, Tiny took the last part of the climb at an inhuman speed, throwing them all over the cliff top. Snow and Jack jumped down, landing next to the stone ruins, but Regina stayed exactly where she was because Tiny was the only one that Regina trusted not to throw her off the side of the cliff. Snow moved swiftly to cut the rope held by the man in black, but it was to no avail. He continued to climb.

Snow called over to Jack, "Tiny and I are going to go ahead with the princess. I expect you to keep this man otherwise engaged. Do not let him reach us, understood?"

Jack looked at Snow and then eyed the man in black, "Absolutely."

Snow and Tiny ran across the ruins with the princess, leaving Jack alone to face the man in black. She waited and waited, but the man was climbing so slowly without the rope even with incredibly firm biceps, and she was growing impatient. Jack called down, "You have very nice arms."

A distinctly female voice answered her, "Sorry, but this isn't as easy as it looks. I'd appreciate it if you didn't distract me."

"You're a woman!" Jack cried out incredulously, noticing the clear lack of Adams apple now that the woman was close enough to her.

The woman in black scoffed, "What, you thought a man could climb this mountain? Please."

"This changes nothing. I still have to kill you," Jack said, the disappointment in her voice masking her true feelings.

"You realize that's kind of a turn-off, right?" The mysterious woman grunted, grabbing onto the next boulder. "I liked you better when you were complimenting my arms."

Jack laughed, "As if it was my fault you upset my boss. I can at least wait until you reach the top. You know, fighting fair and all that. Here, let me throw you a rope."

The unnamed woman accepted the rope happily despite her enemy's previous threats. She had no reason to fear falling—that was one of the first spells she had learned once she discovered she had magic. She was still a relative novice in the ways of magic though, so she continued to do everything without magic as much as possible. Remembering her manners, she said, "Thank you."

"Out of curiosity, do you have six fingers on your right hand?" Jack inquired as the mysterious woman reached the last boulder and hoisted herself over the edge of the ruins. She asked this of every swordsman and swordswoman she met ever since she lost James.

The woman laughed, unsheathing her sword and holding it in her left hand, "What a strange question. If you wish to fight left-handed, all you have to do is say so."

Jack responded, unsheathing her own sword and moving it to her left hand, "My brother James was killed by a swordsperson with six fingers on his right hand. I learned to use a sword to one day avenge his death."

"Interesting story. Sorry to disappoint you, but my right hand only has 5 fingers, so I guess you are just going to have to continue your hunt," she answered, easily parrying the first attack and responding with a strike of her own.

Shrugging, Jack continued the sword dance, "I suppose so. That's why I pick up these hired sword jobs. They pay the bills for me to search."

Guarded, the woman in black asked, "So my death is only about money for you then?"

"That about sums it up. You know, it's a real shame to kill a fine swordswoman like yourself," Jack complimented, as the woman landed a glancing blow on her shoulder. "What is your name if I may ask?"

"Why should I give my name to a woman who plans to kill me?"

"Fair enough," Jack agreed. "What shall I call you then?"

Grinning, the woman replied, "No need to worry yourself about such things. I am no one of consequence."

"You're better than me," Jack smiled back, letting herself be pushed back against the stone ruins.

"Yet, you are smiling," countered her opponent.

"That's because I know something that you don't. I'm not left handed," Jack laughed, changing hands swiftly and beating the other woman back.

Switching hands with her own blade, the woman in black quickly matched her opponent's moves, "That's wonderful. Neither am I."


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

Henry pointed to the picture of the woman wearing black, "See, I told you Emma was alive."

"Henry, you don't know that that's Emma," David tried to be the voice of reason. He figured there was a reason the book was keeping the woman's name a secret.

"I know," Henry declared. "And she's going to save my mom."

* * *

After knocking Jack unconscious and besting Tiny in a fair fight, the mysterious woman's only barrier to the princess was Snow, who was nefariously holding a dagger to the princess's neck. As a result of her earlier brazenness, the princess had also been blindfolded with her hands and feet still bound together.

"Come any closer and she dies," Snow stated, fully prepared to slit the princess's throat. It would move her plan along a little faster than she had intended, but the results would be the same. The war between Oz and the Enchanted Forest would be glorious.

The masked woman asked rhetorically, "Isn't that what you planned to do anyway? I'm afraid I'll need better assurances than that if I'm going to let you leave here with your life intact."

"Wise woman I see. A battle of wits then. If you win, you get to keep the princess and do with her as you like, but if I win, you leave and never speak of this again," Snow proposed. She knew she could never take the other woman in a physical battle all by herself, but if she stalled long enough, her henchwomen would be able to fight by her side.

The woman in black contemplated the offer, "That sounds fair. You have yourself a deal. Name your challenge."

Snow smiled deviously, pulling out two wine glasses and filled them with wine. She then held up a vial of clear liquid, "This vial contains a powerful sleeping curse, one that can only be broken with True Love's Kiss. I will pour this curse into one of the goblets, and then you will decide who drinks from which glass. We will find out who is correct based on who is awake after we drink."

The woman in black posited, "One small change: I will pour the curse, and you will decide who drinks from which glass. We wouldn't want anyone to say that this is rigged, now would we?"

Snow nodded, "Get on with it then." She knew that if she drank the curse, she had a True Love to wake her, whereas the woman in black likely did not. She also knew that the sleeping curse would give the drink a purplish tinge, though only slightly, so she was confident she would make the right choice.

Turning away from the other woman's line of sight, the woman in black poured the curse before rotating back to place the goblets back on the table.

Snow looked at the goblets, and then stared up at the woman suspiciously. If her eyes hadn't deceived her, one glass didn't look like it had any more purple than the other. She was suddenly convinced the woman hadn't put the curse in either goblet and picked one randomly to drink. She motioned to the woman in black who drank from the opposing goblet. To her immense surprise, Snow's eyes began to close, and she fell to the floor.

The woman in black explained softly, "Both glasses contained the sleeping curse. I am immune because I possess True Love's magic." She laid Snow in a more comfortable-looking position on the ground before removing the blindfold and bindings from the princess.

The princess stared at her rescuer, who had an air of familiarity that she couldn't quite place, "Who are you?"

"No one of consequence, your highness," the woman in black responded bluntly. Grabbing the princess' arm, she continued, "We must be off and quickly before her companions awaken and follow us."

* * *

As the prince was not fond of his new bride-to-be being stolen from him, he had ordered they set sail and climb the cliffs so that the hooligans could be tried for treason and justly executed. Pan flew ahead and scouted the area so that they all reached the top of the cliffs safely.

Prince Leopold saw the remains of what had appeared to be a duel, "Looks like the bandits fought each other here. Perhaps they turned on each other."

"Did any survive?" Pan asked.

"It appears so. Two sets of tracks go off to the left, so we go left," the prince surmised.

* * *

Breathing heavily, the princess came to an abrupt halt, nearly causing the woman in black to fall. She said, "I need to stop."

"I should have expected a princess such as yourself would have no stamina," the other woman needled. She gambled that the princess' competitive spirit would give her the extra spurt of energy she needed so they could make it to the Deadly Desert on their way to the Emerald City.

Regina sat on a large rock, "So let me go. My fiancé will pay you handsomely to relieve yourself of such a burden as myself. I'm sure he's trailing us now."

The woman in black stared at her, "Ah yes, your True Love. I hate to break it to you, princess, but True Love is a fairytale."

"Prince Leopold is not my True Love. Princesses marry for the benefit of their subjects, not for love," Regina answered condescendingly. "My True Love is dead."

"How convenient," the woman in black laughed.

"How dare you mock me?" Regina burst out in anger. "I know who you are. You are the Dread Pirate Swann, and you killed my True Love,"

"Aye, I am the Dread Pirate Swann." The woman bowed. "As for your True Love, I have killed many. You must be more specific."

"She had the kindest heart in all the land. Her loyalty was unmatched. Her strength was envied by all who knew her…"

"A name will suffice. Extolling the virtues of this princess of yours will not aid my memory," Swann interrupted.

"She was no princess. Nay, she was but a mere stable girl, yet I loved her with the warmth of a thousand suns," the princess answered dreamily, remembering her True Love. "Her name was Emma."

"Stable girl named Emma…Emma…that name does sound familiar. She was quite strong, put up a fight. I considered making her part of my crew, but well, word gets out when you make exceptions. She begged, went on and on about this True Love of hers—I assume she meant you—and how faithful and loyal her True Love was," the woman in black's eyes held a tinge of anger. "A good thing really, that she didn't live long enough to learn your true nature."

"My true nature? How dare you?" Regina screamed back. "I died with her!"

"Oh, really? Just how long did you wait, princess, before getting engaged to your prince, after your True Love's death? A week? A month?"

"He is NOT my prince! You killed my love, and you deserve to die as well," Regina gave the woman a huge shove, causing her to roll down the hill.

"As….you….wish…."

To her surprise, as the woman rolled down the hill, the mask came off, revealing that the Dread Pirate Swann was in fact the stable girl she had grieved for so long. "Emma! My dear, sweet, loving Emma," Regina said as she immediately followed her down the hill.

* * *

Continuing his hunt, Prince Leopold came upon the sleeping Snow White. Rushing to her side, he asked anxiously, "Is she dead?"

Pan checked her wrists, "Her heart still beats. It would appear she fell to a sleeping curse, your highness."

"When I catch the bastard who did this…" Prince Leopold channeled his ire into barking orders at his men, "Take her back to the castle, unharmed. Pan and I will continue to hunt these cowards through the Deadly Desert."

"Your highness, how do you know they are in the Deadly Desert?" Pan asked, shuddering in fear at the prospect of the upcoming journey.

"Because I know, and I am never wrong," Prince Leopold answered. "Off we go!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast List so far:  
> Guilder-Oz  
> Fire Swamp-Deadly Desert  
> Wesley-Emma  
> Buttercup-Regina  
> Grandfather-David  
> Grandson-Henry  
> Giant-Tiny  
> Inigo Montoya-Jack (Jacqueline of the Beanstalk)  
> Six fingered man (Count Rugen)-Pan  
> Sicilian-Snow  
> Prince Humperdinck-Leopold


	6. Chapter 6

At the bottom of the hill, Emma leaned over her True Love, "Are you okay?"

"How can you ask me that?" Regina looked up at her stable girl and burst into tears. "I thought I'd never see you again."

Emma smiled, "I told you nothing would happen to me. Why didn't you wait?"

"Your ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Swann, who leaves no survivors," Regina explained. "My mom accepted a marriage proposal from the prince, and honestly, I was too depressed to fight her."

"She wants what's best for you," Emma consoled, "Even if she doesn't know what that truly is."

"I will never lose hope again," Regina vowed, "My Savior."

Emma blushed, "Ah, yes, the kidnappers. I did say I will always save you."

The princess lifted her head up, her lips a hairsbreadth away from those of her stable girl, allowing herself to melt into a long overdue kiss. Her hands began to explore…

* * *

"Aw, moms, hello, kid in the room!" Henry shouted at the storybook.

David chuckled, "They can't hear you, Henry."

Henry scrunched his nose up, "But they're outside. My mom would never. That's just unsanitary."

"Sometimes, when two people are in love," David started, before changing his mind, "Yeah, I think we can skip ahead."

"I'm happy my moms found love with each other," Henry explained, "I just don't want to see all the details, you know?"

"I know. So, Deadly Desert or the Emerald City?" David asked.

Henry thought for a moment, "Deadly Desert. I don't want to skip too far."

* * *

The princess looked across the lengthy desert with its noxious fumes, "We'll never survive."

"Nonsense, love. We have dumb positivity on our side…plus a bit of magic," Emma whips her hands up, closes her eyes for a moment, and conjures a flying carpet.

Regina looks at her, impressed, "Wow, this is genius!"

"If you touch the sand in the desert, you turn to sand," Emma warned. "So this will ensure we don't touch it."

Emma gets on the carpet first and holds her hands out for Regina, who gently tests it before climbing on and sitting next to her stable girl.

Regina asks excitedly, "On to the Emerald City?"

"Aye, my princess. My men were given orders to dock my ship at the port in the Emerald City, so that is where we shall go," Emma replied. "As sure as I am the Dread Pirate Swann."

The carpet began to fly across the desert with the princess holding on to her stable girl for dear life. Desperate to distract herself, the princess inquired, "So, how does one go from being a stable girl to a pirate captain?"

"It's a long story, but the basics are that the former Dread Pirate Swann wanted to retire and needed a successor. I happened to fit the bill. It was easier to strike fear in our enemies if I kept the same name as the five pirate captains before me," Emma explained more fully. The wind grew stronger, and as they struggled to breathe, Emma tilted the carpet further upward to avoid the poisonous gases as much as possible. Noticing a sandstorm starting to form in the corner of her eye, Emma yelled, "Hang on!", closed her eyes, and prayed for her magic to work.

Shortly afterward, she could feel the warm glow of her magic encircling herself and her True Love, creating a powerful barrier between them and the deadly sand. She focused on the feelings of protection and love until they had reached the end of the desert and the carpet was finally able to land. Emma reached out apologetically, "I'm sorry. If my teleportation skills were better, we could have gotten free much faster."

"You saved me," Regina said simply. "We survived the Deadly Desert and will meet your ship in the Emerald City. I have faith in you, my love."

* * *

The couple's happiness was short-lived as Prince Leopold and Pan appeared before them on horseback with dozens of soldiers carrying crossbows. The prince called out, "Surrender! We have you surrounded. Return the princess to me, and my men just may spare your miserable life."

Emma held her head high, "The princess belongs to no one. She has her own free will."

"If I return to you, will you promise that she remain unharmed? She has been helping me run from my kidnappers," Regina bartered, knowing they were outnumbered with no weapons. "She is a sailor and needs to return to her ship in the Emerald City."

Emma turned to her, "We could go back to the Deadly Desert and stay there. They couldn't follow us."

"Crossbows can reach far distances, so they wouldn't have to go into the desert to kill us. Emma, I can't lose you again," Regina insisted.

The prince conferred with his advisor and said, "Very well. She would be returned to her ship, unharmed, as a gesture of goodwill toward my future bride."

"Regina, we can fight them," Emma reminded her.

Regina looked into Emma's eyes, "You found me once, and I know you will find me again." Turning to Leopold, Regina continues, "If I find you have broken your word…"

Prince Leopold promises, "May I be tried in open court as an oathbreaker and lose my claim to the throne."

Looking back at Emma one more time, Regina gets on the horse behind Leopold, and they ride away.

Pan turns to Emma, "Come, we must get you to your ship."

"We both know that is a lie," Emma said pointedly, before looking up and noticing his hands, "You have six fingers on your right hand. Someone was looking for you."

Upon hearing this, Pan knocked her out with the hilt of his sword, muttering to himself. He looked up to his men, "What? We can't have her knowing where we are taking her."


	7. Chapter 7

"Where am I?" Emma woke up in a dark room that looked to be a cavern. She realized that her hands and feet were bound to the table, keeping her from getting up or moving. Her body felt sore, probably from the horse ride. Her eyes widened, "Regina, where is Regina?"

"Don't ask so many questions. You'll only make it harder on yourself," Ingrid stood over her and warned. "This place is reserved for the worst criminals in the kingdom."

"I'm not a criminal," Emma argued. "Please help me. My one True Love has been taken from me and probably believes me dead."

"Unfortunately, I have no say in your sentence. Do you see that machine over there?" Ingrid asked. "It drains your life energy, your magic, your very soul, bit by bit until there is nothing left."

Emma cried out, "Regina!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Regina stared despondently into space. She had lost the battle in prayer that she would win the war, truly believing that Emma would return for her when she got free. Sadly, her maids told her that Emma had gotten back on the high seas without giving her a second thought. It was just as she had wanted—she had sacrificed herself so that Emma, her dear sweet Emma, would live.

Prince Leopold came to get her, "Regina, it is time to address the populace."

Her feet moved of their own volition, but her face remained stone cold.

* * *

David scanned the page, "This can't be right."

"What?" Henry asked.

"Fairytales have happy endings, and marrying a man twice your age who you don't even love is not a happy ending," David explained. "If I had been forced to marry Abigail instead of Snow...let's just say I've gained some new understanding into how Regina became the Evil Queen."

"It wasn't because the mirror said Snow was prettier than her?" Henry prodded.

David looked thoughtful, "No, I don't think so. I mean, that's what Snow had told me, but maybe she didn't even know the extent of what had happened, of who her father was to people other than her."

Henry pointed at the next page, which had morphed from a wedding photo into a picture of Regina sitting up in bed alone, "Look! I think the book agrees with you and is changing her story!"

* * *

The new queen stood from the balcony silent as her subjects expected her to speak, to give them some encouragement, some inspiration. She had just managed to work up the courage to speak when a drunken dwarf spoke up from the crowd.

Grumpy called out, "She ain't no Queen. C'mon everyone: BOOO! BOOOO!"

"I beg your pardon, sir. What have I done to you?" Regina asked wide-eyed.

The dwarf bellowed, "Not to me. To your True Love. No one wants a leader who gives up on True Love."

"What do you know about love anyway?" Regina condescended. "I die every day I am without her."

"Booo! Booo!"

"They would have killed her," Regina followed up lamely, knowing that it was a poor excuse. She should have fought harder, done something else, thought of a perfect escape...no one blamed her as much as she blamed herself.

"Booo! Booo!"

* * *

Shaking back and forth, the princess woke from her nightmare. She had a few weeks before the wedding. She could do this. She could get Emma back and run with her to Oz or the Dread Pirate Swann's ship where they would be untouchable. She threw on her trousers and headed directly for the stables.

She had Rocinante saddled and ready to go in record time. She just needed to find the fastest way to the Emerald City. She lamented her recent adventure with Emma was her only time out of the kingdom. She held her shoulders high. It didn't matter. She had True Love on her side. True Love would guide her to Emma, wherever she was. She hugged her horse's sides and lifted the reins, "Onwards, for True Love!"

She closed her eyes and felt the wind at her back. She followed where her heart said without question, going left and right and then left again. She listened to her heart even when she went off the beaten path, deep within the woods and to a tiny clearing. She certainly hadn't traveled as far as the Emerald City, but her heart told her to stop anyway, so she pulled back the reins. She swore she could hear Emma crying out for her in anguish, but surely that was her imagination.

She dismounted from Rocinante and followed the sounds to what appeared to be a regular tree at first glance. Looking more closely, she saw that a door with no handle had been carved through the trunk. Who would put a door inside of a tree? She had no time to ponder as she heard footsteps approach.

"Regina, darling, you're out and about early," Leopold charmed. "You know you shouldn't be traveling without an escort. What if some lowly bandits tried to catch a princess and hold her for ransom?"

"Your highness," Regina curtsied as she had been taught. "You are right. I forget myself sometimes. I simply wanted to enjoy a ride with my horse."

"It's good that you have me to look after you then," Leopold continued. "Pan, would you see that my dear princess makes it home safely? I must get back to the castle. Yet another diplomatic meeting I'm afraid. Lots to do to prepare for the wedding."

"Actually, I'm not quite ready to leave yet," Regina said. "I was going to let Rocinante rest and have some treats. It will take a while, and I wouldn't want to waste your advisor's precious time. I can make it back on my own, just this once."

"It's quite alright. There is nothing more important on my agenda for the day than protecting her highness," Pan smirked. "Go ahead, take your time."

"There you have it. I'm afraid I must be off, but I am glad to know the princess is in safe hands," Leopold gave a fake smile before parting ways. The princess knew something, but Pan would take care of it. No need to get his own hands dirty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated Cast List so far:
> 
> Guilder-Oz  
> Fire Swamp-Deadly Desert  
> Wesley-Emma  
> Buttercup-Regina  
> Grandfather-David  
> Grandson-Henry  
> Giant-Tiny  
> Inigo Montoya-Jack (Jacqueline of the Beanstalk)  
> Six fingered man (Count Rugen)-Pan  
> Sicilian-Snow  
> Prince Humperdinck-Leopold  
> Albino-Ingrid  
> Ancient Booer-Grumpy


End file.
